Tuesday, 10 June 2008

• Recent Happenings

  Sunday, June 01, 2008
  Why I Haven't Been Blogging
  
  We had to take him to a Psychiatric Hospital yesterday. The family can't take it anymore. He's becoming too violent over the anything and everything, especially when he doesn't get his way. He got a disorderly conduct charge brought against him by the high school which carried with it a $200+ fine. We had to call the cops on him ourselves because he was pummeling his younger brother. One of his teachers wrote an email staing that she has literally given up on him because she refuses to teach a kid that is basically comatose in her classroom. Yesterday was the straw the broke the camel's back. As I packed his things to take to the hospital all I could think about was when he was a carefree toddler. He's now 16, almost 17... so emotionally lost, angry at the world, and what we have been doing for him is no longer working. Approximately 5-7 days in a Psych Hospital then Family Based Therapy once he's released. Family Based will have up to 2 therapist who will come into the home and counsel all members of the family as well as the patient. It's going to be intense... but it's needed. He's just not getting what he needs from once a week therapy and once a month med checks.
  
  That is why I haven't been blogging. Not just because of what I've described above, but psychiatric issues concerning my daughter, my other son, myself, and issues between me and my boyfriend. I've been in up to 3 hour therapy sessions a week with my own therapist trying to work on my own issues, trying to get insight on how to help my kids and better understand my boyfriend so that we can have a better relationship. I had nothing left in my to blog about. Once upon a time blogging was a therapy for me. Now, I just want to read other's blogs just to forget about my own problems for awhile.
  
  
  Monday, June 09, 2008
  When Friends Are No Longer Good For You To Be Around
  
  The doctors at the Psych Hospital had planned on letting him out tomorrow. We had another Family Session scheduled tomorrow. However, Tom's not going to be home tomorrow in order for us to make the Family Session or to pick him up after he's discharged. After finding out some very disturbing things over the weekend, I was hoping and praying that we'd be able to have at least one more Family Session before he was released.
  
  I've had to make a very hard decsion to cut a certain someone out of my son's life. That someone shared marijuana with my son. That someone was his best friend of 5 years and was like a son to me. That someone knew that drugs and alcohol contributed to my son's biological dad leaving us, contributed to the failure of my second marriage, and that I myself used to abuse drugs and alcohol in front of my own children a long time ago. This someone lives with a father who is an alcoholic and smokes marijuana as well. You'd think that this kid would know better than to start smoking weed himself let alone offer it to my son. After reading certain messages between this person and my daughter it appears that he would at times only want to come over to my house and spend the night with my son in order to get closer with my daughter and my daughter's friends (who often spent the night at our house with my daughter around the same time as this certain person), some of whom he liked in a romantic way. He called my son a "dumbass" in one of these messages to my daughter. He even told her that he couldn't come over one weekend because he was going to be doing some "coke" that weekend. It's like I never really knew this kid. This kid has to be cut out of my son's life. Especially at this time when my son is so very fragile emotionally and psychologically. I was wanting to break the news to my son during a Family Session, where a therapist can be a mediator, that I know about him doing the drugs with this kid, that this kid is no longer welcome in our home, and that he is to stay away from him.
  
  I know some people might say, "Why are you so worked up? It's just a little weed and it was just one time!" My son is the type of person who loves to disassociate, i.e. fantasy role playing games, spending hours organizing and reorganizing decks after deck of Magic The Gathering cards, spending hours and hours (if I would allow him) playing video games. He admitted for the first time ever in the Psych Hospital that he does have a problem with disassociation and doing his best to keep a fantasy world going for his mind to stay occupied in. When he looks into the future he sees himself as an electrician by day and an RPGer by night and weekend. I know from personal experience that certain drugs especially weed, acid, and extasy are the perfect drugs for those who have issues with disassociation. Such drugs take such users out of reality and into their own realm of fantasy. Over time such users can become "psychologically hooked" on such drugs. Because they crave to disassociate, they will in turn "crave" the drugs that give them that sense of disassociation. Maybe, this is why my son became extremely angry and violent when he found out that he couldn't go over to this "friend's" house the day we had to have him admitted into the Psych Hospital. Maybe he was hoping that his "friend" would have more weed to share with him. Of course I'm speculating at this point. However, it would make sense.
  
  All I know is as his mother, I must do all I can to protect him and try to steer him on the path that is right for him. Sooner or later he's going to have to fly solo. He'll be 18 in a year and a half. I have that much time before he doesn't really have to listen to me anymore.
  
  If there is anyone out there reading this, I covet your thoughts, prayers, healing energies, ect. for both my son, my son's "friend" and I guess my whole family in general.
  

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